Which brings us to Sparky's Roadside Barbecue in downtown Miami.
Kevin and Hans opened the 48-seater a year ago.
"Slow
down, take your time. You're probably only going back to work," goes one of the ever-changing mottoes scrawled on a pair
of blackboards that bookend the room. In fact, the place is packed with workers during lunch; rarely will you see so many
people in suits and ties chow down on smoked ribs.
The
storefront restaurant boasts a clean, down-home, roadside coffeehouse ambiance, with wooden tables painted in pastel green
and holding a roll of paper towels. (There is no air-conditioning yet, but plenty of whirling fans.) An L-shaped counter constructed
by Hans takes up much of the left side and back area of the space. Red wainscoting runs along the rest of the walls, which
are posted with beer signage, blackboards, and a collection of distinctively painted birdhouses showcasing characters such
as the grim reaper, the Mario Brothers, and the Three Little Pigs.
"Part
of my back yard was decorated with them, so I'm bringing a bit of my home here," says Hans, who took a sabbatical from
cooking years ago and served as exhibition designer of the Miami Art Museum. "My wife Mimi, the kids, and our friends
all chipped in and painted them."
"The one made
to look like an outhouse is mine," Kevin boasts.
The
two barbecue mavens met in the '80s while working in the kitchen at Who's in the Grove, which was owned by Stewart Copeland of the Police, Herbie Hancock, and Maria Conchita Alonso. Michael Moran, now culinary coordinator for the South Beach Wine & Food Festival,
was the executive chef. This is when they began calling each other Sparky.
"We were all Sparky there," he continues.
Then
Kevin was invited to help at barbecue cookbook author Steven Raichlen's birthday party. "He had like ten smokers in his back yard;
he was basically cooking everything for his current book at that time." Afterward, he described the experience to Hans,
who soon tricked up his own smoker, with aluminum foil as the lid, and the experimenting began.
They messed with rubs, woods, and different temperatures and then obtained a Friedrich convection
smoker — "a machine the size of a Hummer in the middle of [their] kitchen."
Their experimentation paid off. Already legendary among Sparky's regulars, the brisket sandwich here
is a freshly grilled bun piled with juicy slices of prime beef imbued with full, smoky goodness and spice-rubbed flavor. They
use a blend of some two dozen seasonings for the rub, and a mixture of young hickory and apple woods shipped from Maine. "The hickory gives it a dense smokiness, and the apple wood
kind of throws a little sweetness in there," Kevin explains.
The
pulled pork sandwich is equally fetching, featuring the same potent smoke and juice as the brisket. Can't decide? "Tyler's
pressed sandwich" delivers griddled Texas toast packed with brisket, pork, sautéed onions, melted American cheese,
and barbecue sauce. It tastes as good as it sounds.
Fried
catfish, grilled fish of the day, and smoked chicken thighs are among the other half-dozen sandwich fillers (as well as a
half-pound Angus burger and a vegetarian burger). Try the thighs, boneless and bursting with more luscious smoke-and-rub flavor.
Sandwiches get plated with homemade coleslaw and waffle fries. The former
was freshly made and deliciously creamy on some visits, a little less so on others. Timing, as they say, is everything.
"We smoke our own bacon for the beans and make our own salt pork for
the collard greens too," Hans informs. They are both excellent side dishes to sample. The beans boast a bacon/brown sugar/cumin
flavor that elevates it above other renditions. The collards are satisfying too, if less distinctive.
Diners select two sides when ordering a platter entrée. The pork ribs were thick, meaty, and,
like the other foods, cooked "low and slow" until tender. None of the items really requires barbecue sauce, yet
it would be a shame not to try at least a couple of the five or so daily homemade varieties.
"We started with the traditional Sparky's sauce; the apple-cider sauce, kind of like a Carolina
sauce with vinegar and mustard; and the Hoisin barbecue sauce, with lemongrass and ginger," Hans explains. "Somebody
came in and said, 'What about sweet and spicy?'"
That
led to the guava-habanero barbecue sauce, which does those ribs proud. For a more dangerous bite (beware!), try the lava barbecue,
a seriously fiery sauce culled from roasted poblano peppers, jalapeño, habanero, "and a bunch of other stuff"
Hans grew in his home garden.
"You gotta be out of
the house when he makes it," Kevin interjects, "or you'll start crying and all."
Prices? Sandwiches are $6.95 to $8.95, and entrées range from $9.95 to $12.95 (except a full rack of
ribs for $21.99). Starters go for $3.95 to $5.50 and include hush puppies, fried catfish fingers, smoked chicken wings, wedge
salad, and fried sour dill pickle slices crisply crusted in cornmeal and served with ranch dressing dip. But forget the dip
— the pickles are delectable without it.