Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her
head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that
every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while
being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks
his wife "What's up with all the notes?", to his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves
being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming
pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."
"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off,
"we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet
propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they
say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to
the bunk house and let me prove it to you!” The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered.
Aitn’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before. The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money
and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" To
which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."
A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. For the
entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked
her if, since they had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all these years. She said OK and opened
the safe. In it were a pile of money totalling $10,000 and three chicken eggs. He asked her, "What are the eggs doing
in there?" She said,"Well, I have to admit that I haven't been completely faithful to you. Whenever I strayed, I
put an egg in the safe." He thought about it and said, "Well, I guess I can't be too upset about three eggs. But
where did all the money come from?" She replied, "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring
his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?"
he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle
"That's a bit much," said Tim,
so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
still quite a bit," Tim complained.
the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.