She Was So Blonde That - She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate." She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. She studied for a blood test. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. She sold the car for gas money! Hugh came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time. Hugh?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Hugh sighed and said, "Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn't turn up. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office." "You'll have to do better than that. Hugh," replied the boss, disappointed. "No woman can be ready in ten minutes." A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?" God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live." Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?" God replied, "Shirley! I didn't recognize you!" Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education? As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"
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