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5 reasons why computers must be male
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut
you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
3. They'll usually do what you ask them
to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
2. They're typically
obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so
much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.
1. They get hot when you
turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.
5 reasons why computers must be female
5. No one but their creator understands their logic.
4.
Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used
to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message, "Bad command or
filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell
you."
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories
for it.
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City ,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the
products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor
1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the
sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,'
she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels
compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor
4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy
me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor
and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework,
and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the
sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There
are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for
shopping at the Husband Store.
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