Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.  "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend. "Why shouldn't I?" said Jane. "Well, maybe he is having an affair?" "No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..." Q: What do Tornados and Dallas Cowboy fans have in common? A: Sooner or later, they'll both end up in trailer parks! One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here". "Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires." The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3. During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!" 8 things you'll never hear a woman say... 8. What do you mean today's our anniversary? 7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 6. Ohh, this diamond is way to big! 5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends' 4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small? 3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there. 2. I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress. 1. Hey, pull my finger!
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