Dave's Rave's

Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because they already have boyfriends. Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the shit out of you. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What is six inches long, two inches wide and make men act like fools? Money. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them. Wife: "I won the lottery! Five million dollars. Whoo-ee--start packing!" Husband "That's great!!! What should I pack?" Wife: "Whatever you want, just be out of the house by the time I get there"