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The
economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" CEO's are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them . Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'. Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. The Mafia is laying off judges. BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen. Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear! And,
finally... I was so depressed
last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds,
and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in
Pakistan . When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive
a truck.
Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in
the winter.
Dogs cannot lie. Dogs never resist nap time. You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog. Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid. Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes. Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old. Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public. Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42 Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000  |
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