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Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're
in bed with a relative.
I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.
Money can't buy
happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
The most precious
thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
I love being married. It's so great to find that
one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
How come we choose from just two people to run
for president and 50 for Miss America?
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter
to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commontater.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed
potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything,
just butter him up.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
It's mashing!
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry!
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