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Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water
power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody
talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
money they already know you don't have?
If a tree
falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
When two airplanes almost
collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
If you want a puppy, start out by asking for a horse.
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